Most parents would be shocked if their child reported, “I am disobedient and avoidant at bedtime because I feel anxious about an imaginary monster in the closet.” While that would make life easier for parents, children do not typically know how to recognize, express, or process strong feelings such as anxiety.
Childhood anxiety looks more like this:
- frequent stomachaches
- emotional outbursts
- withdrawn, quieter than normal
- fidgeting
- less cooperative
- avoiding school or store
- poor focus affecting everyday tasks
- wanting to be alone (or right next to a trusted person)
- frequently using the restroom
Adults struggle to identify and express their emotions; it would be unfair to expect kids to have those skills automatically. Parents or teachers might have to listen carefully for the root of the problem. We can help children learn how to respond when they feel worried or stressed.
When your anxious child reports yet another stomachache, try asking, “What have you been thinking about that might be bothering you?” If you’ve practiced some coping skills together, now is a great time to use them! There are countless healthy coping skills for elementary and preschool children that are fun and simple to learn. You can blow bubbles (deep breathing), play I-Spy (mindfulness), sing, hug a stuffed animal or loved one, read, or do something silly and active (e.g. somersault, spinning, being a frog, etc.).
It’s okay to think and talk about worries. In fact, studies – and human experience – teach us that trying to push away worrisome thoughts doesn’t work. It’s better to acknowledge and face worries. Explain to children that worry can cause a stomachache, but we can make choices that help us feel better. Grownups might be interested in reading The Worry Trick to better understand how anxiety works and what you can do about it. (Find more great books for grownups here.)
Of course, we also have books to recommend for kids! Here are some of our favorites for facing anxiety:
Bundle of Nerves – Luis faces the first day of school with courage. Includes glossary and resources.
What to Do When You Worry Too Much – This kid-friendly workbook designed for children with excessive anxiety relies on principles from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Broken into chapters to be read over the course of a few weeks. Ideally read with caregiver who will help child implement recommended strategies.
Jeremy’s Decision – Jeremy feels anxious when adults ask if he wants to be a conductor like his father, but an observant reporter helps Jeremy find the confidence to make a decision and express it.
What Do You Do with A Problem? – In this inspirational story, the character learns to tackle a problem and discovers something hidden inside. A little abstract, better for older elementary.
Chico the Brave – Chico takes initiative to find the Golden Chicken and learn the secret to bravery. Along the way, he faces many fears and eventually saves the day.
What if? – Two seals play with a beach ball. The book depicts different possible scenarios as a third seal arrives. It’s easy to worry “What if [something bad]?” Try imagining some good “what if’s”! This story has few words.
Don’t forget to download the FREE Reading Guide for whichever book(s) you pick!
We would love to know if you find these books or others helpful! Comment below or send us a message. Happy reading!